even my fatal flaw is too lazy to actually kill me

Well, if I could stop at one (which I will, but not for the lack of flaws) I’d offer up this: I’m more afraid of success than I am of failure. Failure’s kinda easy, actually, and doesn’t stink so much when you have a network of people who are more than willing to tell you how much it’s not your fault that things went wrong. The thing about failure is that it doesn’t take much effort to accomplish it. Success, on the other hand, happens to take quite of bit of work, and time, and sometimes talent. And money. Once I succeed at something, I realize I’m totally screwed. I want nothing more than to figure out what laurels are, and if they’re comfy enough, rest on them. I’m totally okay with the idea of being a one-hit wonder but suddenly it seems like it’s not up to me.

I’ve had a lot of awesome things go down lately (like my pillow being featured on Ismoyo’s blog!) that maybe might kinda sorta indicate that good things are happening for me, the kind of good things that lead to the dreaded success that will keep me from being lazy and unproductive. The kind of things that actually encourage me to get up off my butt and head into the labs and work until I smell like an exotic cheese.

I’d smell like an exotic cheese if it meant I got to do what I love every day. I might not have many friends if I go around smelling like cheese, but I’m thinking my minions wouldn’t mind so much.

el updato del kato

It’s a real indication of how busy I am when the ol’ blog doesn’t get updated. Lots of things going on lately: needlefelting demos at Paste , etsy sales, designing new items, and preparing for my upcoming needlefelting class (also at Paste, on 8/4.) It’s been awhile since I’ve taught anything, and I’ve never taught needlefelting but I think it should be fun – just need to get some people signed up!
In the meantime, the labs are an absolute disaster – it’s like a Hobby Lobby vomited in there, but somehow I’ve been managing to work around the scraps of fabric and felt, stray threads, and escapee seed beads. I know that I really should take a few hours and get everything straightened up but it’s more fun to just keep making messes. What bothers me more about the labs are the stark white walls that surround me. I can’t tolerate a white wall very well; I just don’t see the point when there are so many colors in the world that I’d rather look at. As much as I’d love to paint, the thought of emptying that room is absolutely unbearable. And when I think about how many things I could get made during the time I’d spend painting, it just seems silly.
Speaking of, the next project I’m going to attempt is a coin purse with a kiss-lock frame. I love kiss-lock frames; they remind me of the coin purses my mom used to carry when I was younger. She didn’t carry any cash in hers though – her coin purses existed solely for the purpose of transporting her cigarettes, lighter, and various shopping lists in style. I found a vintage wool plaid skirt in a Goodwill that I’m going to use for the outer fabric, and I’ll probably add some needlefelting for embellishment. I’ll post pictures – WIN or FAIL – when I’m done!

who is this person? and why am i listening to her?

She’s in my head, that’s why. I can’t stop listening to her. And she’s getting to be pretty annoying, what with all this second-guessing and doubting and wondering. Bah. 

Maybe it’s because it’s Sunday night, a Sunday after a whirlwindy kinda week in which I spent a lot of time in the lab. Just making stuff left and right, and feeling pretty good about it. But I told myself I could take today off, even though I shouldn’t have, and now I’m regretting it. When I’m actually making the stuff I like, I have zero time to sit and wonder if it’s useless or ugly or just stupid. I’m too busy making sure my stitches are even and my color combos are pleasing and what have you. But when I’m merely thinking about making stuff….oh no. That’s when I have entirely too much time to think, “Who wants this crap?” and “What’s the point?”

Well, I had about enough of that so I hurried my heinie into the lab for a couple hours and now I feel a bit better. The worst that can happen is that I end up with 30 sweet little felt coin purses (like this one.)

And if that happens, well…you know what you’re getting for Christmas this year!